Random Sherlock Crack
by Merrete
Summary: This is just where I'm going to post all my Sherlock crack fics that I'm be writing late at night. No set plot. Enjoy


Seriously, I have no idea what this is. Just warning you... This is the stupidest thing I've ever written... SO FAR...

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

"I'm sorry boys, but I can't let you continue."

It was a stare down between Moriarty and the gun in Sherlock's hand. Moriarty stood there with a blank face waiting. Waiting to see if Sherlock had the guts to shoot him, or rather, shoot the semtex covered parka that lay only a few feet from where he stood. John's heart raced as he leaned against the wall, his head focused on one thought: We're going to die. He knew that if Sherlock shot Moriarty the snipers would kill them too, and if he shot the bomb the explosion would destroy the whole room.

A minute passed, and then another. John thought Sherlock had to have thought of an escape plan by now, but Sherlock just put his hands back down to his sides in defeat.

"Ah, so this is your answer… A bit anticlimactic, don't you think?" Moriarty said with a smug look on his face. "Well, it's time to say good bye."

"No…" John sighed in fear.

"Wait!" Sherlock exclaimed. "Don't we get any last words? Every great evil villain gives his arch enemy a few last words, haven't you seen the movies?"

"I don't see how a few words can help you, but fine. You've played my little games Sherlock, I can play yours. Go ahead. What will be the great Sherlock Holmes's famous last words?"

"I only need one word," Sherlock said with a smirk upon his face. "Doctor!" He called this out as if expecting someone to come.

"Doctor? As in Doctor Who? You do realize that's a show, right?" Moriarty looked like he was talking to an idiot. Sherlock just stood there, looking confident in that one word. "Your last word was used to call out to a make-believe character? I thought you were a genius Sherlock, I really did, but maybe I was wrong."

John sighed. He thought it was all over. He thought they were done for.

He thought wrong.

Suddenly, there was a huge flash of light. The whole room went white and no one could see a thing. Moriarty was horrified, realizing that that one word Sherlock uttered could cause his downfall. He started searching for a door, but in his rush he fell into the pool. When he surfaced, the light had dimmed down a bit and he could see more clearly. He started searching for what might have caused such a huge burst of light, only to be confused at his success.

Floating above the pool was Lestrade and Anderson riding on top of a unicorn, whose mane and tail were made of pure rainbows and it's eyes were literal stars carved into its face from the heavens. Light was still emanating from its beauty, lighting up the whole pool area and revealing the snipers, who then fled from the pure awesomeness of this unicorn. Moriarty floated still, astonished at the sight before, or should I say, above him.

"There you are," Lestrade said looking at Sherlock. He directed the unicorn down to them. "We've been looking everywhere for you."

"We've found him, we've found Moriarty," Sherlock motioned over to where he sat in the pool.

"Ah, great. Anderson, you know what to do."

Anderson used his mime powers to conjure up a crane and lift Moriarty out and tied him up. He bowed to Lestrade, and Lestrade threw a puppy in the air for Anderson to eat and said "Good boy."

Sherlock turned to the helpless Moriarty. "You like watching me dance, huh? Well, how do you like my dance now?" He started doing the male Highland Sword dance*, the dance he usually does when he's happy. "Dance with me John! DANCE!"

John, still completely confused about the situation, got up and danced with Sherlock, having learned the dance from watching Sherlock do it so many times.

As soon as the dance was done, Sherlock pulled out a frying pan from his back pocket and hit Moriarty in the face with it, causing Moriarty to puke out a Pikachu, which then thunder bolted him and jumped into the pool, dissolving into the water. Moriarty then fainted, unable to take in anymore. Lestrade nodded to Anderson, who then pulled out a ray gun and shot Moriarty, making him explode into a bunch of fezzes and bow ties, which everyone put on as a sign of victory.

"Well done Sherlock," Lestrade started searching inside his fez and pulled out a plastic bag full of gummy bears. "I think you deserve payment this time," he handed the bag to Sherlock. "I've put a spell on it so the gummy bears will never run out," Sherlock excitedly took the bag and started doing the Highland Sword dance again. "And for you Watson," Lestrade opened a secret compartment in the unicorn's leg and carefully took out a floating golden triangle. "I present to you the triforce of courage," He threw the triforce at John and it merged with his hand. "Here's your master sword. Don't loose it."

John felt like he was getting to much for the little work he did, until he learned that with the triforce came a fairy of his own. "Ah, hell no," John stabbed the fairy with the master sword, which then turned into a Hello Kitty jumper. "Sweet!" He threw it on and thanked Lestrade for the gifts.

"Cahhm ahm Johhm," Sherlock came back over, his mouth filled with gummy bears. He picked John up onto his shoulders and got on top of the unicorn. He pushed the big red threatening button on the back of the unicorn's head and it started flying. They waved good bye to Lestrade and Anderson as they rode the unicorn into the sunset.

The End.

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><p>*The Male Highland Sword dance - http:www. youtube .com/watch?v=Z2kcRvvbrxA (without spaces)  
>I don't know why, but I love that dance... I want to see Sherlock doing it<p>

Well, how did you like it? I'll probably just use this "story" as a place to post all my crack stories I come up with in the middle of the night.


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